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| Dear blog, i really miss 25/12/08 where its our first day being together.. i really miss it soo much when we so so loving and soo close.. i really regreted i din appreciate it and take the chance.. i treated you cold.. made u sad and disappointed with me.. i know i hurt ur feelings so badly that time.. u even take the train all the way from wangsa maju to sunway to look for me.. to give me the video you made.. i really so stupid.. i hate myself for hurting u.. i really hope i can go back to that very time with u.. I really miss those times so much now.. i am so useless.. i can make you love me.. instead u hated me.. inside now u dont love me anymore.. sorry i keep force you to go back to last time..I feel so sad and hurt now... All i can do is cry alone and be hurt alone.. but i still wont give up although it hurts me so badly.. i still you love and my love for you will never decrease no matter what happens.. all i hope for is your love for me, your care, your attention and your heart for me.. I miss the warm and tender love from you.. the warmth that u gave me was so comfortable.. i felt safe and loved.. I wish there is a time machine where it can bring me back to year 2008 and 2009..
I am soo sorry for being such a useless boyfriend.. i alwiz fail to make u happy and i alwiz hurt ur feelings... i wish i can go back in time and slap myself and make myself awake.. i alwiz believe that this is our fate to be together.. i have alwiz been trying my best.. i hope one day u can accept me and love me for who m i.. accept my imperfectness and all my stupid useless things that i do...Thanks for treating me soo good for the year 2008 and 2009.. i will not forget it forever and ever.. thanks for all the handmade gifts.. i love those gifts alot.. thanks for being there for my graduation.. thanks for being so patience with my imperfectness... thanks for still being with me although i keep hurting you... i dont blame u for being angry with me or hating me.. i hate myself.. y must i have a temper.. y must i treat u so badly last time... i hate myself.. i am so stupid... i am soo sorry.. i know u will ignore me.. nor wont pity me anymore.. all i can do is hate myself and regret all that i have done wrong... thank you for giving me the chance to be together with u.. i am alwiz proud to have a girlfriend like u.. i will nvr forget everything that u have done from me since 25/12/08... thank you god for giving me the chance to get to know her... i appreciate everything that we have gone thru good or bad.. i give thanks to u...
Is it possible to go back to last time?? i have been hoping and praying.. i really need your hug, love and care now... i really love u with all my heart and soul.. hope one day u will love me the same way too..
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| Another hard and painful day has happened.. another sleepless night.. being so hurt and sad...
I have been trying my best all this well.. swallowing all the pain that u have given me.. trying to be strong and patience.. even after being scolded and threaten by a guard because of you.. i did not blame you yet i still try my best to love you.. be there for you.. care for you and try to take all this pain alone.. my heart shattered when i am told that i am an outsider and i am harassing her.. my own GF said this.. how hurting can it be and i still be patience and take all this beating and pain to my heart...
Then she even said loving stuff to a guy which we quarrel about.. and i am blame in the end for not trusting her and checking on her.. i know i am useless.. i am not the guy u are looking for.. nor a BF that can be ur husband.. u said it all out today.. u are not my wife i have no right to say anything.. nor stop you from doing anything..
I know its all my fault.. I am imperfect.. useless.. no matter how hard i try u can never see the good in me.. or the thing i am trying to do.. my heart has be stab with so many knifes.. and i know u just want to get your revenge on me.. for all my mistakes and all my imperfectness.. and maybe in the end u will just leave me right??
Just so hurt hearing all this from your very own mouth.. Havent i try enough? i have given up my whole life and heart just for you.. i put in 10000% of my effort just for you.. havent i change and try my best for you?? I know you are still not satisfied about me.. but i have tried my best already.. i know i do not desire your love and care.. thats why u are trying to find a better guy to substitute me...
I know i am fan.. i am long winded.. but all this is becoz i care for you.. have u ever understand my feeling and what i am trying to do for you..
i really tried my best.. do u know how painful i am?? yet i still try to be strong.. try to love you as much as i can.. i did not even seek for revenge as u are doing now.. i did not even try to hurt u back or treat u cold.. do u know how painful is it every time you treat me like this for this few months...
I am trying to endure all this alone.. do u know?? all i can do is cry and cry and cry alone.. feeling so cold and no one is there to hug me.. heart is so painful is like the knife is slow poking and cutting onto it..
I just hope u can just hug me.. and at least be there for me...
It so painful.. God please teach me what to do?? please show me the way?? Do i have to endure this??
I really love u soo much.. i have sacrifice all that i can for you.. i hope you will understand and cherish it one day.. i cant force u.. all i can do is hope and pray and wait... thanks blog for letting me say all this here..
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| i will not show u my sad or unhappy face anymore... sorry for making you so hate me.. i will try my best to change everything that u hate about...
sorry for making you suffer, unhappy and sad... hope you will forgive me... i am just a useless BF that is so stupid, useless.... sorry for being so imperfect... i hope one day u will be happy with what i m trying to do and change..
i hope one day.. we will be back together as normal just like that time.. i really miss those days where we were still so loving, caring and soo close and sticking to each other... i guess i can just hope and miss those days everyday..
i know maybe one day u wont want me anymore.. but in my heart i still love u and miss u as much as last time and even more each day... i cant stop loving u... i hope u will understand my feelings one day towards u..
i want to be true and faithful to you... i love you so much.. sorry for being so useless and sorry for making u so sad.. sorry for being so imperfect.. and sorry for all my mistakes.. i know it is hard for u to forget and forgive me for all my mistakes.. but i really hope one day u will forgive me...
Sorry..
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| haiz... i feel so useless again... i have made u suffer and sad... i have made u a bad memory where it makes u feel stressed and unhappy...
i am so sorry dear.. i am a useless BF.. i din give u enough happiness or comfort... all i gave u was just stress, sadness and bad memories.. i am so sorry for being such a bad BF... all i do is hurt u...
can u please forgive me dear... i hope that i can be with u and try my best to give u the happiness, comfortable and love that i can... i want to try my best and give u the best although i am not perfect.. i hope dear can give me a chance to try my best...
i really love u so much and u are always in my heart no matter what.. no other girls can replace u in my heart... all i hope is to be with u happily and going through this life together with u... i hope dear wont leave me becoz i really love you alot and i m serious and loyal to your love dear... i only want to love you and only you... no one else... hope i can provide you with enough love, care and loyalty... i will try my best no matter what..
i really love you... and only you.. you are all that i need only... i will try my best to be your "Mr. Right" and i will try my best to be the soft, caring, loving, understanding and gentlemen BF that you always wanted...
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| Oh blog... i feel so sad today... all i ever asked for is just for someone to love, care, understand and be there for me... In the end i get the bad ending... it all turns out bad.. i feel so useless... i have tried my very best... what else can i do... i am just a human.. i am also limited power and ability.. i am not perfect.. is there anyway i can make everyone satisfied with me and accept me for what i try to do??
Oh blog.. i always believe to by loyal to love no matter how bad i was treated in the past... no matter how suffer or how pain i never lost the feeling for love for u... i alwiz love u as much as before... no less.. ohh blog... is there anyway to help me out.. i am in great pain, sadness now.. i just need someone now to talk to.. to care and i need some words of advice... i am so sorry for being so imperfect... i am sorry for being useless.. i am sorry i cant be the person that u alwiz hope for.. i am so sorry for on hurting u in all my weakness... sorry.. i am so useless... please forgive me... ohh blog.. can u tell me what to do... i am so useless... i got so many weakness.. can u please tell me wat to do... i m so lost.... so painful now...
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